Breathing Lessons
by KoloheSanji
Summary: WARNING: This piece contains FOUL LANGUAGE! Synopsis: Sanji comes to collect Zoro at a village pub. However, something goes incredibly wrong when someone decides they want to collect on Zoro's bounty. Another attempt at the Zoro version is now up!
1. Sanji's Lesson

**Author's Note:** I don't own Sanji or Zoro...or any of the characters or things found in One Piece. Although, I wish I did...I don't. Sad, isn't it?

**WARNING: AHOY!!! FOUL LANGUAGE AHEAD!!! (You have thus been warned...)**

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"Can't..."

"Can't what?"

"Can't..."

"Sanji, talk to me..."

Caught somewhere between the land of dreams and consciousness, the blonde cook thrashed around beneath the sheets that covered him.

Even with someone dabbing his forehead with a cold, damp towel, Sanji couldn't bear to open his eyes. His lids were leaded weights. And, his chest felt like several boulders were sitting on it. So hard to breathe. So difficult to...

Like an out of water fish, flopping around on a cold hard floor, Sanji's mouth opened wide, his lungs unable to pull in any of the precious oxygen in the surrounding room. His body bucked as he felt himself slipping into convulsions...

"Baka! Dammit you stupid Ero Kokku! Breathe!"

The oily darkness seemed to be pulling him down. Smothering him...

As his mind slipped into it's final stages of life, Sanji felt strong hands take a firm grip of his head, tilting his head back. Something clamping down on his mouth, and warm air being forced into him.

-----

"Breathe, dammit..." Growled the green-haired swordsman as he forced air into the blonde man's lungs. "Breathe..."

It had only been an hour ago. Zoro had wandered into a pub in the village to have a drink, or two...or three.

As he finished off the bottle of rum he had paid for, Zoro had ordered another bottle just as Sanji had entered the establishment.

"Oi, Marimo. Time to return to the ship..."

"I'll come when I'm ready..."

"No. You'll get lost when your ready, and Nami will kill us both. You for not coming back on time, and me for allowing you to be late!"

""Allowing me?'" Hissed the green-haired man. "I do what I like! I don't have to listen to Nami!"

Just then the waiter returned to the table, carrying a newly opened bottle of rum. Neither man had noticed the unsure side-glance that the waiter gave to the pub owner behind the bar, who merely shrugged.

Without giving the waiter a chance to serve the rum, Sanji grabbed the bottle, and took a large swig...

"Tastes like shit..." Grumbled the blonde before he smashed the bottle against the corner of the table. "Let's go!"

"I'm going to kill you!" Yelled Zoro, as he unsheathed his katanas.

After a series of angry words and blows, the fight ended when Zoro noticed that the blonde's attacks were becoming increasingly unfocused, and the cook's face was turning paler and paler.

"Ero Kokku? You okay?"

Sanji glared at Zoro. "I'm okay enough to kick your ass!" Seethed Sanji, just before his legs gave out and he fell to the floor.

Bending down to check on the unconscious man, Zoro caught a whiff from the broken bottle on the floor. The biting smell of alcohol was strong. "Baka! Can't hold your liquor can you?" Then, as he tried to pull the cook to his feet, he smelled something else. It was a faint unidentifiable, pungent odor.

Eyes flashing around the room, Zoro's glare settled on the waiter who was now trying to melt into the walls.

"You!" Shouted Zoro, as he stood up and advanced on the cowering man. "What did you do?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Screamed the man as he was yanked forward by the throat. "They wanted the bounty on YOU!"

"What did you do?" Repeated Zoro, beginning to close his grip on the waiter's throat.

"The marines...coming...been called..."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?" Shouted Zoro, now unsheathing a katana with his free hand.

"...knockout...drug...strong...could...kill..."

"Shit," thought Zoro as he let the waiter fall to the ground. If they were trying to slip him a strong knockout drug, it would have to be a VERY STRONG drug. With the amount that Zoro was known to down in one sitting, they had to have known that a normal drug would only make him drowsy. This drug had to be incredibly potent, and for someone who only drank heavily on those very sporadic, special occasions...this drug would probably be deadly.

Added to that, the Marines would undoubtedly be on their way to take both of them away. And, knowing those officials, they wouldn't give a damn if one of their prisoners died in their care or not.

"Come on," said the swordsman as he heaved the dead weight of his companion onto his shoulders. "Time to go..."

"BREATHE, YOU STUPID ASSHOLE!!!" Shouted Zoro, feeling light-headed as he continued to force air into other man's body. "BREATHE!!!"

And, as if finally deciding to take the advice of the cursing swordsman, Sanji finally started to breathe once more on his own.

"Asshole." Zoro began to relax with each passing breath, finally pulling up a nearby hotel chair and settling down into it. "If you die after saving my life...I'll never live it down."

-----

As the sun rose, the green haired swordsman slowly woke as he felt the warmth of the sun's rays caressing his face. Slowly stretching his aching muscles, tight from sleeping on a hard, uncomfortable chair, Zoro opened his eyes.

"Definitely not the Thousand Sunny," he thought to himself as he squinted against the bright light peering in through a nearby window.

As the room came into focus, Zoro glanced to his left. A bed? And, why wasn't HE sleeping in it?

Then he noticed the lump lying beneath the bed sheets in the bed.

"Oh, SHIT!!!" Yelled Zoro as he jumped to his feet and leaned over the body in the bed. "Oi, Cook, wake up," he whispered, trying to see if the man was alive...or...

The body didn't stir at all.

"Come on, Kuso Kokku," muttered Zoro, the slight crack in his voice giving away the emotions that were raging inside of his granite exterior. "If you die on me, so help me, I will go to whatever hell you are in...and DRAG YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!"

Still no movement.

"Luffy broke the refrigerator lock and is eating everything!!!" Yelled Zoro, hoping that would wake the unconscious man.

Nope, still nothing.

Then, after a few moments of thought, Zoro leaned over and whispered into the blonde man's ear. "Sanji...Nami wants you to come to her--"

Before he could finish his sentence, the body sat straight up in bed.

Without even opening his eyes, Sanji called out. "My beautiful Nami-swan is summoning me, I cannot disappoint my lovely and generous Nami-swan..." Before he collapsed once more and fell asleep.

"Idiot," growled the green-haired swordsman as he settled back on the wooden chair. "Let's see how

'beautiful and generous' your Nami-swan is when we show up THIS late." Then with a slight smile of relief, Zoro closed his eyes and fell asleep.

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**Author's note:** Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this story. Please let me know if you did. Or, if you didn't. It's always nice to know what people think. Thank you!!!


	2. Zoro's Turn

**Author's Note: THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all those who read and reviewed the original story!!! I hope you like this version, too!** (And, sorry guys! I know I should be working on the other two open stories...however, things kind of went really nuts with the beginning of summer. I'll try to get to them ASAP, and hopefully I'll also have some time to read and review some of the other stories out there, too!)

**THANK YOU VERY MUCH** to:  
**HogwartShinobi: ** They have to love each other, or they would kill each other. LOL!  
**Littlepinkangel: ** I'll definitely try!  
**Eileen-san:** I'll definitely try...but it depends on which versions of the characters talk first! LOL!  
**Sacred Sakura:** Nami does make Sanji tick! (And Zoro too...but mainly just his eye... LOL!)  
**Norikio Na No Da: ** I aim to please!  
**MoonSythe:** Hm. Definitely something to ponder...  
**ShiKamiKa:** Thank you!  
**Kami Takai:** I don't think it's a bit of information that Zoro would want to willing divulge, either. LOL!  
**Santoryuu-zoro:** Thank you!!! And, here it is!!!...

**I'd like to send a special THANK YOU to Santoryuu-zoro!!! ** You're comment inspired this version of the story! I hope you like it!

WARNING: AHOY!!! FOUL LANGUAGE AHEAD!!! (You have thus been warned...)

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_**Breathing Lessons: Zoro's Turn**_

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"Oi! Marimo! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"You frickin' coward!" Smirked the Swordsman as he drew all three of his swords. "I should have killed you when I had the chance, you backstabbing bastard! You and your fricking dog!!!"

"What dog?...Wait! Are you calling me a coward, you Shitty Swordsman?!" Sanji's eyes darkened at the thought of being belittled by the green-haired Marimo.

"You went back on your deal! Then you tried to have me executed, eh? I'll gut you right where you are."

"Whether you remember me or not, I'll knock some sense into you...If it's the last thing I do."

"It will be..."

XXXXX

It was rapidly approaching the time that the Mugiwara's navigator had asked the crew to return to the ship, and so far the green-haired swordsman was still not to be found.

"Baka!" Growled the blonde cook as he ducked into various establishments that sold or served liquor. "That Shitty Swordsman has to be trying to get drunk somewhere!"

As Sanji slipped into the pub, his eyes scanned the faces of the customers, until his blue-eye settled on a familiar green-haired covered head.

"Oi, Marimo. Time to return to the ship..."

"I'll come when I'm ready..."

"No. You'll get lost when you're ready, and Nami will kill us both. You for not coming back on time, and me for allowing you to be late!"

"'Allowing me?'" Hissed the green-haired marimo. "I do what I like! I don't have to listen to Nami!"

Just then the waiter came to the table, carrying a newly opened bottle of rum. Neither man noticed the unsure side-glance that the waiter gave to the pub owner behind the bar, who merely shrugged.

Already seething from Zoro's last defiance of Nami's wishes, Sanji grabbed for the bottle, but was not fast enough to stop Zoro from reaching the bottle first.

Downing a couple of large swallows of rum, the swordsman suddenly stopped and spewed what would have been the third large swig into the face of the cook.

"Bastard!" Shouted Sanji as he wiped the stinging liquid out of his eyes.

Ignoring the angry blonde's curses, and the hastily sent kick that almost struck the dodging swordsman's head. Zoro looked around the room, until his glare settled on the waiter who now seemed to be trying to melt into the walls.

"You!" Shouted Zoro, as he stood up and advanced on the cowering man. "What did you do?"

"Oi, Marimo!" Angrily yelled Sanji as he stormed after the swordsman, "What are you doing?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Screamed the man as he was yanked forward by the throat. "They wanted the bounty on you!"

"What did you do?" Repeated Zoro, beginning to close his grip on the waiter's throat.

"The marines...coming...been called..."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?" Shouted Zoro, now unsheathing a katana with his free hand.

"...knockout...drug...strong..."

"Nani..." whispered Sanji as he began to realize what the conversation had been about.

Letting the waiter fall to the ground, Zoro grabbed the sleeve of the cook and pulled the stunned man towards the exit. "We have to go...NOW!"

Weaving through the village streets, Sanji noticed as his face began to grow numb, that he and the swordsman were making slower progress than before.

Finding a small hotel, the blonde pushed the swordsman into the establishment, hoping that they would be safe there for the night.

ooooo

_Hazy_.

Out of all the words that he knew, that was the one word that perfectly described the world that he was seeing...Hazy.

_Where was he? Was he captured by the marines? _Thought the swordsman as his eyes searched the room. _And why did he feel like someone had run over him with a cart, backed up over him, and run him over again? _

_Had he been tricked by them?_

_Surely he had to be tricked to have been captured...But how?_

_Lied to. Definitely. Whoever had him, had to have lied to have captured him._

Reaching for his katana, the swordsman realized that they were no longer on his hip.

"Shit," growled the swordsman as he tried to look around the room from his place on a flat surface--possibly a bed? His eyes finally settled on the swords that were sitting on a nearby chair. Smirking, Zoro slowly stood up and returned the swords to their rightful place at his side.

_Idiots couldn't hide them well enough._

As a door creaked open, Zoro spun around to see something to be emerging from a smoke filled room. Still unable to focus properly, the swordsman's eyes could definitely see a slender form with long blonde hair.

_Slender frame. Blonde hair. Lies to take prisoners. Hiding his swords..._

"Stupid Swordsman! You had to spit that shit in my face, didn't you?!"

_Rude words. And, slightly slurred speech? He must have gotten a few good licks in._

Eyes narrowing as only one conclusion came to his mind, the swordsman punched the blonde man full force in the stomach...

_Helmeppo!!!_

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Sword blow after sword blow. Kick after kick.

While Sanji had only absorbed some of the potent drug through his skin, he was at a greater disadvantage while fighting the furious swordsman. He knew that Zoro was his nakama...but apparently, the swordsman didn't know who the hell he was.

"Stupid Swordsman, if we keep fighting the hotel will call the authorities!"

"You actually think that I'm that stupid," laughed Zoro as his swords were deflected by the blonde's well placed kicks. "You already told them I'm here!"

"Nani?" Hissed the cook as he tried to knock the swordsman down with a kick to the chest. "Open you fricking eyes, Marimo! It's me, SANJI!"

Blocking the blow with his swords, the swordsman sent the cook flying back into the hotel room wall.

"Lies! I know your tricks, Helmeppo! You coward!"

Rising to his feet, Sanji's eyes darkened once more. "I'm no coward, you Shitty Swordsman."

Slowly walking forward, the cook did not hesitate as the swordsman brought a katana up with it's blade directly pointed at his abdomen.

Fists clenched shut, face held in a pain-filled grimace, the blonde didn't stop as he felt the sharp blade slicing into him. "Wake...the f--- up...you...stupid...Marimo...," his words and breathes coming out in short pants.

As the face of the blonde grew nearer, the features slowly began to grow sharper to the swordsman's eyes...including one particular feature...

"Dartboard Eyebrow?"

"Stupid...Asshole..."

As recognition was slowly replaced by the sobering horror that his blade was embedded in one of his nakama, the swordsman lowered his eyes.

"Sanji...I have to..."

"Just...do it..."

Pulling the sword out in one swift movement, the swordsman watched as the cook stood still in his spot.

A hand shakily reached into a pocket, as the blonde retrieved a cigarette and a lighter. Bringing the cigarette up to his lips, the cook's hands tried to ignite the lighter before his body nervelessly collapsed forward.

Catching the blonde before he could hit the floor, the swordsman laid him out on the bed. Using a sheet, Zoro tore it apart to bandage up the cook's wounds.

_Sanji was strong, _Zoro had reasoned as he succumbed to an exhausted sleep in a nearby chair, _he'll be okay...he has to be..._

XXXXX

As the sun rose, the green haired swordsman slowly woke as he felt the warmth of the sun's rays caressing his face. Slowly stretching his aching muscles, tight from sleeping on a hard, uncomfortable chair, Zoro opened his eyes.

"Definitely not the Thousand Sunny," he thought to himself as he squinted against the bright light peering in through a nearby window.

As the room came into focus, Zoro glanced to his left. A bed? And, why wasn't HE sleeping in it?

Then he noticed the lump lying beneath the bed sheets in the bed.

"Oh, SHIT!!!" Yelled Zoro as he jumped to his feet and leaned over the body in the bed. "Oi, Cook, wake up," he whispered, trying to see if the man was alive...or...

Slowly the blonde began to stir, groaning in pain until he caught sight of the green-haired face hovering over him. Features rapidly going from a grimace into an angry scowl, Sanji glared at the swordsman as, out of reflex, he brought his foot up striking the back of the green-head.

_"Yes, he definitely will be okay,"_ growled Zoro in his brief thoughts, as fell forward onto Sanji.

As both men groaned in pain, a sudden glaring fact hit both of them.

This pain would be nothing compared to what Nami definitely had in store for them when they returned...

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**Author's Notes: I hoped you all enjoyed this!!! Thank you for reading and/or reviewing!!! And, thank you to Santoryuu-zoro, who inspired me to write this version! Mahalo and Aloha!**


	3. Revamp of Zoro's Turn

**WARNING:** AHOY!!! FOUL LANGUAGE AHEAD!!! (You have thus been warned...)

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous two versions, and sorry!!! I wanted to update, and read, more stories...but life doesn't seem to want to cooperate with me. However, I did want to rewrite the 'Zoro' version of this story (Santoryuu-Zoro, I hope you like this version! Otherwise, uh-oh!)

Anyway, here it goes...

_**Alternative Zoro Version**_

_"His lips are turning blue!"_

Sanji felt his heart racing as he stared down at the semi-conscious form lying on the bed, struggling to take in each breath of precious oxygen.

_"Shit! Shit! Shit! Leave it to the stupid Marimo to get himself drugged, and possibly poisoned by some half-assed bounty hunter out to score a quick buck."_

Tipping the green haired head back, Sanji cringed as he forced himself to take a deep breath and clamp his mouth over Zoro's. Watching as the swordsman's chest rose as he exhaled, Sanji paused a moment before removing his lips and allowing the alcohol laden breath to hit him in the face.

_"Bastard Marimo! You owe me BIG TIME!!!"_

Another forced breath into the swordsman. This time Sanji didn't cringe as he tried to focus more on saving his nakama's life, and less on the fact that he was placing his mouth over another man's lips.

A third breath. A fourth and a fifth. Soon desperation began to take hold as Sanji began to face the reality that he may lose his friend, here and now.

"Don't you give up on me, you bastard!" Growled the cook as he looked down into the unconscious man's face. "You hear me, Marimo! Don't you dare give up!"

XXXXX

It was rapidly approaching the time that the Mugiwara's navigator had asked the crew to return to the ship, and so far the Zoro was still not to be found.

"Baka!" Hissed Sanji as he ducked into various establishments that served liquor. "That Shitty Swordsman has to be trying to get drunk somewhere!"

As Sanji slipped into the pub, he scanned the faces of the customers, until his blue-eye settled on a familiar green-haired covered head.

"Oi, Marimo. Time to return to the ship..."

"I'll come when I'm ready..."

"No. You'll get lost when you're ready, and Nami will kill us both. You for not coming back on time, and me for allowing you to be late!"

"'Allowing me?'" Hissed the green-haired marimo. "I do what I like! I don't have to listen to Nami!"

Just then the waiter came to the table, carrying a newly opened bottle of rum. Neither man noticed the unsure side-glance that the waiter gave to the pub owner behind the bar, who merely shrugged.

Already seething from Zoro's last defiance of Nami's wishes, Sanji extended an arm for the bottle, but was not fast enough to stop Zoro from reaching the bottle first.

Downing the entire contents in record time, the swordsman smirked as he looked up at the cook. "Okay. Now we can go."

"Bastard." Growled Sanji as he turned to leave. Only stopping as the sounds of a toppling chair and table assaulted his ears. Swinging around to face the swordsman, Sanji was surprised to see Zoro stumbling, entangled in the remains of the chair that he formally occupied a moment earlier. "Baka! What the hell are you doing?"

"Sumshin...wrung..." Slurred Zoro as he tried to get to his feet. "Thu...drin...drug..."

"Baka! What the hell are you saying?"

Ignoring the blonde's angry words, Zoro looked around the room, until his bleary-eyed glare settled on the waiter who now seemed to be trying to melt into the walls.

"Waitur..." Zoro's head lolled in the direction of the waiter, "drug me..."

Finally comprehending what the intoxicated bushido was trying to tell him, Sanji's own eye took on an angry glint as he sprang forward on his hands, sending a kick that shattered the bar directly in front of where the waiter was now standing.

"It wasn't my fault!" Screamed the man who was now confronted with a furious cook. "They wanted the bounty on him!"

"What did you do to him?" Scowled Sanji, his right thumb gesturing back towards Zoro.

"The marines are coming, if you don't want to be caught..."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!?" The angry threat in the blonde's voice was unmistakable, it screamed 'answer my question or die a horrible death.'

"...a knockout drug..." the waiter was barely able to squeak his answer.

Kicking the waiter in the stomach, Sanji hoped to leave the waiter with the lesson of 'NEVER treat my nakama in such a way ever again.' (After all, if anyone would slip a drug into any of their food, it would be Sanji...and no one else).

Attempting to half-drag, half-carry, the very heavy, muscle-bound swordsman, Sanji found he was making very slow progress through the city streets.

Finding a small hotel, the blonde pushed the swordsman into the establishment, hoping that they would be safe there for the night.

XXXXX

Scowling from his seat on the other side of the room, Sanji watched as the marimo's chest rose and fell with each breath he took.

No matter how many times Sanji had washed his mouth out with soap and water, or how many cigarettes he tried to suck down, he could still taste that stupid bushido on his breath. The taste of that horrible, stale alcohol...and the bitter bile that was still too horrible to contemplate.

_"NEVER AGAIN!!!"_ Thought Sanji as he thought about the night before. Having to suffer the nightmare that a few suffer when trying to resuscitate an individual. Of having Zoro do that to him. Of having THAT fill his mouth. It was just too unbearable!

"Bastard, Marimo!" Spat Sanji as he waited in his chair.

_Oh, he would pay. Once the stupid swordsman was back on the Thousand Sunny, and Chopper had checked him out, he would pay dearly..._

_  
_XXXXX

Hope you guys liked this version. (I am actually thinking about continuing this version at a later date--a WAY later date, since I left my other stories hanging, and have no signs of my schedule lightening up in the near future). Mahalo and Aloha!


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